hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We have started to decorate penises.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.