I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.