Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms