Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
