There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
