Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this boner is exhausting
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
