dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
