I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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