You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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