No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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