If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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