dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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