You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
