Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
