Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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