bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
