And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
