i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
