I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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