I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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