reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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