and she was petting her beer can
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
