So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
