Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
