Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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