I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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