Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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