I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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