you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
