I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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