where am i from again
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
