The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
