I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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