I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
