I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
