She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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