Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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