you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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