Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
