Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
