I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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