i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
