He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
