my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
