DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize