Fuck appropriateness.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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