her vagine was all disorganized.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
