Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
