Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
a search helicopter?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
