How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
