how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
