Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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