Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
