I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am full of burrito and curiosity
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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