He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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