do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I need moral support for this bender
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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