I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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