every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
