i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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