This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
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Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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