Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
