my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
