Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
