I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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