More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
